True and Best

I have been reading posts from a very informative Yahoo! Group about being a Peace Corps volunteer. The group has a lot of information about individuals working through the process of becoming a Peace Corps volunteer. I did not have to read very many posts to spot some very interesting trends:

• Many people are waiting. They are waiting for clearance to the next step in the process, and it is hard for them to be patient.
• Many of the people waiting to become volunteers are vigorously searching for more information on the process of becoming invited to the Peace Corps.
• When someone is finally invited, there is a collective sigh of relief for the invitee, and I think, some small pangs of envy in others (like me).

I am beginning to understand that two things are needed during the process of becoming an invitee:

• Patience
• Extra Patience

I know for myself, once I decided to try for the Peace Corps, I began to imagine how it might change my life. I began to realize that finally there was a really good chance that I would be getting rid of most of my material belongings, going some place else, learning a new language, and helping in a way that I have only dreamed of before. These thoughts created a "fertile ground" for some core feelings and values deep within me. Already, since late July, those core feelings and values have grown and I feel like I am moving closer to the true and best me.

Now, if I think about not making it into the Peace Corps, I become sad. Mostly because I am afraid I will loose that fertile ground and eventually be sucked back into the old equation for my life; and slowly, the movement towards a true and best me will become a memory.

This means that I need a backup plan! I will make the following deal with myself:

• If I do not make it into the Peace Corps, I will find a way to go out into this world to someplace where my skills can provide the most help for those in most need.