Monday, September 06, 2004

Deep Down

Deep down, I have always known that I was continually impacting the world. I tried to avoid thinking about it; because when I thought about it, I realized I had more responsibility than I wanted.

The funny thing about responsibility is that once I have it, it's hard to get rid of, and not thinking about it doesn't always make it go away.

The busier I was, the easier it was to not think about my responsibility to the world. If I was really busy, thoughts of my own tasks, problems, and dreams would completely push world thoughts out of my consciousness. In this busy state, life pleasantly zoomed by. I felt awake because of all my busy tasks, but really I was asleep to what was deep down inside of me.

I did not realize what would eventually happen (it has taken a couple of years) when I decided to slow down my life and my thoughts. Strangely, when I freed up some space in my mind it got filled with things that really mattered, and I began to learn who I was.

I am still working to free space up in my mind -- it's a continual battle. Although, now I wonder (with excitement) what I will discover next, hidden deep down in there.

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