OK, I'm better now -- I saw a Humvee and didn't freak out.
Jay.
Friday, May 27, 2005
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
None
Sometimes I am afraid I am being selfish in leaving this year. There are things here that I have not yet finished, and they may go smoother if I stay.
But I can't stay, not after seeing what I have already seen in those places that have so much less than here.
The truth is, every day it gets harder for me to stay. I feel as though I have contracted some strange virus of the mind that is slowly changing my values.
I used watch civilian version Humvees roll by with wonder and envy. This Sunday, when I saw one roll by, the wake of its excess covered me, and I felt as though the weight of all my own excesses where made visible to those that have so little. I felt humiliated.
But I can't stay, not after seeing what I have already seen in those places that have so much less than here.
The truth is, every day it gets harder for me to stay. I feel as though I have contracted some strange virus of the mind that is slowly changing my values.
I used watch civilian version Humvees roll by with wonder and envy. This Sunday, when I saw one roll by, the wake of its excess covered me, and I felt as though the weight of all my own excesses where made visible to those that have so little. I felt humiliated.
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