Tuesday, May 24, 2005


Sometimes I am afraid I am being selfish in leaving this year. There are things here that I have not yet finished, and they may go smoother if I stay.

But I can't stay, not after seeing what I have already seen in those places that have so much less than here.

The truth is, every day it gets harder for me to stay. I feel as though I have contracted some strange virus of the mind that is slowly changing my values.

I used watch civilian version Humvees roll by with wonder and envy. This Sunday, when I saw one roll by, the wake of its excess covered me, and I felt as though the weight of all my own excesses where made visible to those that have so little. I felt humiliated.

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