Saturday, August 14, 2004

The Beginning

When I step back and look at my life, I can see how it follows certain "standard equations". It's actually not that hard to seem them -- If you step back far enough. I think I spent a lot of my time pretending they were not there, or at least believing that I was not following their intoxicating logic...

Deep inside myself, these standard equations had carefully deactivated and contained the best part of myself -- my core. Deactivated, but not destroyed, this core was fortunately preserved. As my life progressed something unexpected began to chip away at the power of the standard equations. Very often I made mistakes; every so often, the results of these mistakes had a wondrous and unexpected side-effect. They quietly pointed out flaws in the standard equations. At first, I did not see these flaws because I was too busy (a key ingredient to the standard equations). As I started to slow down my life, I began to see the flaws, and the logic of the standard equations slowly became less intoxicating...

From now on, I am going to try to follow equations that honor my core. I know when I am getting close, because I get this warm, peaceful feeling inside that makes me smile, and that is intoxicating!

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