Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Strange Energy

Warning*, this is my strangest post yet...

*Journal disclaimer: the thoughts in this post represent the current state of the writer's mind, and should in no way be expected to make complete sense.

All day today, I have felt a strange, positive (yet chaotic) energy inside of me. I know, this sounds strange; when I sit quietly and slow my thoughts, I feel steady warmth in my chest. It is the warmth of uncontrolled happiness.

Last night, I woke up around 1:00 am. I was feeling strangely happy and for some unknown reason, I was no longer worried about not making it into the Peace Corps. I don't know why I was no longer worried, and I don't remember waking up happy like that before.

My brain feels extremely uncluttered, but my thoughts are slightly distracted by the strange energy. Every now and then, a burst shoots into my consciousness and plays with my thoughts in a happy, teasing sort of way that makes me smile.

When I am feeling sad, it can be easy for me to focus on the sadness and let it start to encompass me. Now that this strange happiness is in me, I am going to focus on it and let it pleasantly start to encompass me.

Has anyone else felt this way before?


Anonymous said...

Warmth in your chest is a physiological response, probably related to the 'slowing' of your thoughts.

I would not relate this to happiness.

Thoughts, in themsleves, are not normal. It is normal not to think. Assume that and make an assessment from there.

Good Luck!

Jay Haase said...

Anonymous,I would love to talk with you more about this topic. Please send me an email if you would also like to discuss it more with me.