Ileni

I just created a website the hosts many of my pictures from Namibia. You can check it out at the following link:

www.ileni.com

Jay.

Updated Plans

Through a series of lucky events, I will be staying in Namibia one more year. I will have a completely different assignment, in a completely different part of Namibia.

I will be working in community development (not IT). I will also be staying with a family on a homestead. There is a chance there will be no electricity and no running water. I will also be learning a new language: Oshindonga. The family will probably speak only a little English.

Its the type of assignment I had been hoping for since I started the Peace Corps sign-up process.

I will be coming home for over a month! I will leave Namibia on December 2nd and arriving back in Namibia on January 15th.

PS: Anyone want to donate an LCD project for use in Namibia to help with teaching male gender norms -- as a way to combat HIV/AIDS?

Next Plans

Just lately (like yesterday), I began crafting a new schedule of activities, my plans, post Peace Corps....

The First Thing
Go home and celebrate Christmas with my family.

The Second Thing
Move in with my daughter's family, and help them with Jayse, my new grandson, for a couple of months.

The Third Thing
Return to Africa, and travel from its Southern tip to its Northern tip, helping people along the way.

A Footnote
I am on a search for myself, and even though I know that I am right here, I have become very good at hiding from myself -- so good, that I think I will have to trick myself just to find me. I have seen that putting myself into a new culture forces me to learn about myself, and that is in fact, what I will do.

For all intensive purposes, my religion is:

• I must seek to understand myself, so that I can become a mirror for others.

My goal is:

• I will go out into the world and help where help is needed most. I will find those places where there is great suffering an go there, serving others with compassion; removing what suffering I can.

Goal Version 2.0

A few weeks ago, I decided to update my goal -- I had been reading a book by Thich Nhat Hanh, and was feeling inspired. My old goal was:

• I will go out into the world and help where help is needed most.

My new goal is:

• I will go out into the world and help where help is needed most. I will find those places where there is great suffering an go there, serving others with compassion; removing what suffering I can.

The book I was reading is called "Creating True Peace" by Thich Nhat Hanh.

Before I Die

I have been thinking about what I will do next, after the Peace Corps. Thoughts of post PC come to me at random intervals. It is an exciting thing for me, and another unexpected perk of being in the Peace Corps.
It feels as if my life has been opened up to me, and I am free to go where I need to go. I feel as if another big adventure is just around the corner for me.
A while ago, I compiled a list of some of things I would like to do before I die. Here they are, in no important order:

• Live in a rural area of Japan.
• Do more rock climbing.
• Be a shepherd with a dog (most preferably in South America).
• Be a beach bum in the Caribbean.
• Go to Thailand.
• Have sex with two women at the same time.
• Become more and more comfortable with myself.
• Have nice dread locks.
• Go to Machu Picchu.
• Live in a rural area of China, have a live-in housekeeper, and teach her English in exchange for her work (or even two live-in housekeepers, because it could solve two goals at once).

?

I feel like writing many things right now, I have the urge to write a lot of meaningful, thought provoking sentences, but for some strange reason I am devoid of any meaningful thoughts at the moment.

Still, all is good, and I am happy :-)

In a thoughtless way :-)

Science Fair

Hey all, one of my fellow Peace Corps volunteers is raising money to send his students to a science fair. Check out the link below if you are interested in donating a little money.

Science Fair Fund Raiser

Mind Wounds

What if mind wounds healed like body wounds?

If I get a cut on my hand, I just clean it, leave it alone, and in a little time it heals.

To often when I get a mind wound, I repeatedly sprinkle it with infectious thoughts, and then unrelentingly probe it.

What if when I get a mind wound, I just cleaned it, and then left it alone?

Heavy Water

How long can you hold a small glass of water? Such a glass weighs very little.

Even a very strong, big person will feel tiredness and pain after holding a small glass of water for too long. After some point, anyone must put the small glass of water down and rest their arm.

I’m surprised, scared, and relieved; because I have just now realized how easy it is for me unknowingly hold a small glass of stress for too long. The effects of holding such a glass sneak up on me. By the time I notice the effects, they are so big that I find it hard to recognize their source: a small, unthreatening, glass of sunlit, vitamin filled stress.

Monsters

Last night, I escorted a friend to her house. This involved taking a taxi with her, deep into one of the locations of Windhoek. A location is like a ghetto; and this location was about an hour walk from town. It was around 10 pm, and there were not many taxis out and about.

The taxi that my friend and I were in was not headed back to town. After dropping my friend near her house I was dropped at the nearest petro station where the driver thought I might be able to find a different taxi that would take me into town.

I waited at the petro station for about 15 minutes, before finding a taxi that was willing to take me back into town. I noticed my driver was going to buy more petro, so I paid him in advance. As we were driving away from the petro station, he asked if it was alright if we quickly made a turn (I quick stop at one of his friend's houses) before heading into the town. I said "sure, no problem."

The driver was thoughtful for a moment, and then made the following question-statement "you’re not afraid?" I told him "no, I live in a location in Southern Namibia."

For a while, we talked about locations and how white people did not go into them.

With a calm seriousness, the black driver said to me, "will you tell the rest of them that we are not monsters? We are people just like them."

Shoulders

People are all around me, and yet I am alone. I look and see the people moving into groups – they think they are coming together. They seem to feel a sense of accomplishment and comfort as they group up; but they are actually just separating, and I am the only one that seems to notice. Tears begin pouring inside of me, and I yell “We are not different! We are all the same!” I fall down weeping.

Those important pieces of me seem to be separating – for how can it be otherwise? I feel that I am in everyone, and everyone is in me.

At some point a hand gently comes to my shoulder. My body is worn from weeping, and in my despair, I turn to see a woman. She is beautiful and strange and quiet and she does not look at all like me. She holds me until I stop weeping. With strength and love and tenderness she smiles and slowly says to me: “We are not different, we are just the same.” I want to melt into her, and stay with her forever, but she is already gone.

As I stand up, I see that the other people have not moved; but even so, I now see only one big group of People. I am happy as I realize I can walk amongst all the people. I gently go forward and touch each of their shoulders.

Away From Blog City

Just wanted everyone to know that I am OK, and that I am just away from Blog City.

My life continues to be in full color, leaving little time for blogging. I will be back in the States at the end of May to attend my daughter's wedding -- Yay!

I hope things are OK with you,
Jay.