I am feeling that chaotic energy all over inside. It's that energy I feel whenver I am approaching a cusp in my life.
I already know how I will feel when I first pick up that crinkly paper package containing my invite.
I am just going to look at the package for a while, remembering how a whole year had led to this moment.
I won't open it right away, rather I'll drive it to a quiet place, somewhere outside, away from people that notice me.
I'll sit for a while, thinking of what this all means, and then slowly open the package.